Published on July 8th, 2015 | by Daniel Cheeseman0
We’ve all met these types of City fans…
Mike Devlin, author of ‘Manchester City: The Secret History Of A Club That Has No History’, talks about the different types of City fans we’ve all seen over the years
The 8,015 Fan
Whilst certainly not being the lowest ever crowd at a City match, it is certainly the lowest in recent living memory, and the ‘8,015 Fan’ deserves your respect; not least because they are now of at least pensionable age, stumble about, and need doors opening for them, although their usage of “back in my day” should not ever be encouraged.
The ‘8,015 Fan’ has literally been there and done it, and the fact that they survived the entire Peter Swales era is enough for you to congratulate them. The ‘8,015 Fan’ is generally a calm person, and you can guarantee that even if things all went tits up tomorrow they’d still be here supporting what little remnants of the club still existed.
The Paul Lake Fan
This group of people are (but not exclusively) usually male, are now in their 40s, and tend to be married (or at least were) and have kids. The PLF is also extremely vocal in their opinions and you will hear them … whether you like it or not. This doesn’t mean that with the excessive level of volume they might use will mean the PLF is right, but you are still going to hear it. They are passionate to the nth degree, and have an incredible sense of humour, but will argue with you with a degree of knowledgeable information should they consider you to be wrong.
The PLF additionally tends to like a drink or several, and knows of every single watering hole up and down the country (and indeed abroad), should you require assistance on your occasional away trip – the PLF will be going too, so make sure you bring your drinking boots on, because you will most definitely need them.
Finally, the PLF will remind everyone of how sh*t we used to be, but that that doesn’t mean the current state of affairs – if not good – cannot be criticised, all whilst wearing one of the umpteen thousand City shirts they own.
The Blue Moan Fan
The BMF can come in all shapes, sizes and varieties and can mostly be found on social media explaining why Player A “can just f*** off”, even though nobody asked them their opinion in the first place. There is very little reasoning that can be had with the BMF, so it is best that you don’t bother. In fact you wonder why they even bother, because nothing is ever good enough; sure, they were happy when Agüero scored that goal, but he really should have gone down for a penalty, because what would have happened if he had missed?
The BMF also has very little patience particularly when it comes to transfers and will often be heard asking why the club haven’t bought anyone before the transfer window has opened, and Heaven help us all when it does open and nothing has happened by the time they get out of bed on the morning of its first day.
The Tommy Hutchison Fan
Not to be confused with the BMF, the THF is not so much a complainer of all things City but a pessimist of absolute extremes. No matter how good things are, the THF will calmly explain that it will all collapse because “that’s what City do”.
They genuinely mean it too; they’re not playing around. You can point at the £200m Academy and titles and trophies all you like, but the THF will cite a moment in City’s history that rejects your optimistic approach and offer you doom and gloom on a scale that approaches apocalyptic proportions.
Do not hang around the THF for too long otherwise you will be brought crashing down with them. You have been warned.
The Stuart Pearce Fan
The SPF arrived even though the football on offer was akin to smashing one’s face repeatedly into the wall. They arrived before the glamour and glitz, and even though they may live in far flung reaches of the World, they are respected by those who came before them.
Admittedly, the SPF has very little historical knowledge of the club, but their passion sort of makes up for it (no, it doesn’t – buy my book and go learn something). The SPF also tends to be relatively quiet on City matters – not knowing anything certainly doesn’t help – but still likes to keep in touch with what is going on, even though they are unsure how things work these days.
The Robinho, Tevez, and Agüero Frontline Three Are Awesome Fan
This is what success brings you; ‘fans’ who are here because we have become well known. It is entirely possible that the RTAFTAAF used to ‘support’ an altogether different club, but now that City are winning things they are now a very proud Blue.
Sure they may own a shirt or two that when not worn sit next to their other Premier League shirts they bought a few years ago, and have a favourite player, but they know nothing about the club, the team, or who Wimblydon was. It’s not that the club doesn’t appreciate your ‘support’, but if you don’t mind, please learn something – anything – and don’t say another word until you do. Oh, and get rid of that other f***ing Premier League shirt.
The Meredith and Trautmann Fan
The MTF can come from any of the above fans (okay maybe not the last two and definitely not from the RTAFTAAF – have you thrown that f***ing shirt away yet?), and are knowledgeable about the club to the point of ridiculousness. They write books and post articles about things your average fan does not know or vaguely remembers. All. The. Sodding. Time. The MTF is generally the go-to-guy when you need information about some obscure happening seventy-five years ago, and they’ll gladly give it to you, too. Insufferable b****rds.
And as the MTF are extremely good with words it is usually not a good idea to try and wind them up or send them nonsensical thoughts as you will likely end up very quickly regretting it. Smug know it alls.
The Panini Sticker Fan
The PSF are generally between the ages of four and fourteen and love City because it is in their blood to do so by virtue of their parents. However, these children have no idea of anything other than what City is now; there is no pain, no humility, and no concept of what self-implosion means.
Everything about the PSF is rainbows and sunshine and unicorns. They idolise Agüero and Silva, without having the memories of big useless Bob Taylor thundering down the pitch like an incontinent hippo, before blasting a shot into row Z. I hate you, kids.
Mike Devlin is the author of ‘Manchester City: The Secret History Of A Club That Has No History’, published by Amberley Publishing.
Follow Mike on Twitter: @BlueWolf1894